Keane: Under the Iron Sea

Wow. I just can't get enough Coldplay  Travis  Every other wimpy britpop band who tries to channel Radiohead's introspective darkness and U2's pop brilliance Keane. This is derivative  boring  crap  derivative boring crap really great. Listening to this is like repeatedly driving a screwdriver into my ears  more fun than having a total hip replacement  lobotomatastic really great. The hour I spent with Under the Iron Sea was absolute torture  cruel and unusual  the reason I'm now in therapy really great.

Music:
It's perfect music for people who hate the thorns on roses, the rainstorms in summer, and the dogshit from dogs. It's like the Britpop version of new age; it pretends to go to dark and dangerous places, but ultimately it never ventures beyond the safe, secure hopes and dreams of the privileged class.

Packaging:
Hot damn! The jacket is the best part of the album! And it's still not very good!

Listen if you like: bands who possess absolutely no originality or creativity.

If it were food, it'd be: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with canned peas. There's nothing wrong with it, and sometimes it's even pretty tasty. But if you've tried the real thing, it just doesn't compare.